Anchored Declarations and the Brownie Point Economy

This week’s hot conversational topic in the Nut and Squirrel was the Global Economic Crisis, with particular reference to a little-reported side-effect that has huge ramifications. I am, of course, referring to the devaluation of Brownie Points.

Unless you’re English, I guess some explanation may be called for at this point. So, at the risk of getting all anthropological…
Brownie Points are awarded by females to their mate for certain actions. When enough brownie points have been accrued, the male of the species can have these converted into a Pass.

The Pass can be used for a night out with the lads, at the footie, or whatever other pursuit is of interest.

This system is instinctively understood by females, although, due to the sudden and unexpected fluctuations in value, less so by the males.

You will often hear conversations such as :

“We’re going to Luton Saturday, their playing Mansfield, you reckon you can get a pass ?”
“Sorry, we’re at the Garden Centre on Saturday, need to earn some brownie points.”

This system goes under many different guises but is essentially the same the world over.
Lately however, it has become apparent that males are having to work harder for their brownie points than previously. The suspicion is that this is related to the retail price of women’s shoes.

What a mess. Where can you put your hard earned savings to ensure an index-linked return ?
Well, if you really want to know, you’ll have to read the Financial Times. Variables in PL/SQL, however, can be indexed-linked to database columns by the simple expedient of an anchored declaration. Continue reading