The Ping of Mild Annoyance Attack and other Linux Adventures

Sometimes, it’s the simple questions that are the most difficult to answer.
For example, how many votes does it take to get an MP elected to the UK Parliament ?
The answer actually ranges from around 20,000 to several million depending on which party said MP is standing for.
Yes, our singular electoral system has had another outing. As usual, one of the main parties has managed to win a majority of seats despite getting rather less than half of the votes cast ( in this case 37%).

Also, as has become traditional, they have claimed to have “a clear instruction from the British People”.
Whenever I hear this, can’t help feeling that the “instruction” is something along the lines of “don’t let the door hit you on the way out”.

Offering some respite from the mind-bending mathematics that is a UK General Election, I’ve recently had to ask a couple of – apparently – simple questions with regard to Linux… Continue reading

Oracle XE 11g – Getting APEX to start when your database does

They say patience is a virtue. It’s one that I often get to exercise, through no fault of my own.
Usually trains are involved. Well, I say involved, what I mean is…er…late.
I know, I do go on about trains. It’s a peculiarly British trait.
This may be because the highest train fares in Europe somehow don’t quite add up to the finest train service.
We can debate the benefits of British Trains later – let’s face it we’ll have plenty of time whilst we’re waiting for one to turn up. For now, I want to concentrate on avoiding any further drain on my badly tried patience by persuading APEX that it should be available as soon as my Oracle XE database is…
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Getting a File Listing from a Directory in PL/SQL

It’s General Election time here in the UK.
Rather than the traditional two-way fight to form a government, this time around we seem to have a reasonably broad range of choice.
In addition to red and blue, we also have purple and – depending on where you live in the country, multiple shades of yellow and green.
The net effect is to leave the political landscape looking not so much like a rainbow as a nasty bruise.

The message coming across from the politicians is that everything that’s wrong in this country is down to foreigners – Eastern Europeans…or English (once again, depending on your location).
Strangely, the people who’ve been running our economy and public services for the last several years tend not to get much of a mention.
Whatever we end up choosing, our ancient electoral system is not set up to cater for so many parties attracting a significant share of support.

The resulting wrangling to cobble together a Coalition Government will be hampered somewhat by our – equally ancient – constitution.

That’s largely because, since Magna Carta, no-one’s bothered to write it down.

In olden times, if you wanted to find out what files were in a directory from inside the database, you’re options were pretty undocumented as well.
Fortunately, times have changed…

What I’m going to cover here is how to use an External Table pre-process to retrieve a file listing from a directory from inside the database.
Whilst this technique will work on any platform, I’m going to focus on Linux in the examples that follow…
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SQLDeveloper XML Extensions and auto-navigation

It’s official, England are now the second best cricket team in the British Isles !
After all, Scotland were dispatched with ease and as for Wales…they didn’t even make it to the Cricket World Cup.
OK, technically they did because they’re part of England for the purposes of cricket…although you’d be hard pressed to get them to admit it.
Ireland are, of course, some way in front having actually managed to actually win the odd game against Test Playing Nations.
Whilst it takes quite some effort to find silver lining in the cloud of English Cricket’s latest debacle, the same cannot be said if SQLDeveloper is your Oracle Database IDE of choice … Continue reading

SQL*Plus Terminator Torture

“Leave that jar of Nutella alone, it’s got my name on it !”
The context in which Deb issued this injunction to me probably requires some explanation.
It was Friday evening.
Wales had just…well…come second in the latest installment of their eternal battle with the English through the medium of Rugby.
There was no alcohol left in the house.
And only one source of chocolate.
From the safety of the Cupboard under the stairs, to which I had retreated at kick-off – the Welsh do take their Rugby quite seriously – I wondered about my better half’s change of name.
Shorn of it’s chocolate hazelnut spread connotations, you might think that Nutella was quite an nice name for a girl.
It certainly seems appropriate if the “Girl” in question is slightly unhinged by a combination of wine and wounded national pride.

I was going to write something here about how Rugby players all look like the Terminator and use this as a way of introducting the topic at hand. However, I realise that this would simply be too contrived…even for me.
Instead, I’ll jump straight in…
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