PL/SQL Error Logging and Quantum Theory

When I started writing this post, it was going to be about something else.
This happens occasionally, I have an idea in my head and set to work.
Then I do some research – don’t look so surprised, I do look at the docs occasionally – and, as in this case, I find out that there’s rather more to the topic at hand than I first thought.
What follows is a re-visiting of some of the tools available in Oracle to help with error logging.
It includes stuff that either I’d forgotten or had never considered about some fairly common functions.
Before I dive in, I’d just like to say thanks to William Robertson, who first pointed out to me the similarity between PL/SQL error logging and Quantum Theory. If you’re still unclear of the connection between the two then consider, if you will, the Schrodinger’s Cat Thought Experiment.
It involves locking a cat in a box and possibly poisoning it.
Schrodinger postulates that the cat is both alive and dead…until you open the box to check.
The conclusions we can draw from this experiment are :

  • According to Quantum Theory, the act of observation changes the nature of the thing being observed
  • Schrodinger wasn’t a Cat person

Before going any further, I should point out that most of the stuff I know about Physics comes from watching Star Trek.

Moving on, I now invite you to consider…
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PL/SQL – A Programmer’s Introduction – or Welcome to the Dark Side

This week, the Open Source Karma has been cast-aside. We’re going proprietary in a big way. We’re going to the very heart of Oracle’s power, deep inside the RDBMS – yes – it’s PL/SQL.

This post is dedicated to ( and essentially co-written by) Simon. Yes, my long-time best mate, long-time Luton Town fan, long-time Teradata expert and long time everything really ( we’ll he’s not as young as he was).
After all these years, Simon has become a bit curious about this PL/SQL thing I’m always going on about and would like to know more.
It is this desire – and large amounts of beer – that has persuaded him to play the Igor to my mad scientist and have a wander through this very quick guide to the language at the heart of most Oracle applications. In fact we came up with several possible descriptions of Simon’s role in this post, but he had a “hunch” that this was the right one.
So for him, and any other programmers who want to get up and running with PL/SQL, but don’t need to be told what a variable is, what follows is – not so much a PL/SQL 101 – as a PL/SQL 23-and-a-bit. Continue reading